I've got a relationship problm-pls help?

i'm 22 yr old boy frm pune.I'm in luv with my clasmate who was formerly my frnd.v r quite difrnt.she's not frm my state & has got darker skin complexion than me.v r both frm quite orthodox fmlys & she knows this so she pretends as if v r jus frnds.even i behav with her in d same way.i've never told her my feelings.though she becomes quite emotional if i talk abt luv topics with her(abt luv in general,etc i.e. indirecly).i keep thinking of her the whole day & i can't do anything-studies,outdoor activities,etc.Its definite that she also has feelings for me becos when our frndshp was new we had gone for a movie & we became late to come back from there.On our way back it was past 10 PM & she has never been out so late so she got very scared & she held my hand.It took us an hour to return back & the whole way back she didnt leave my hand.Even when i dropped her at her home,she wasn't letting go of my hand & when she left my hand there were tears in her eyes but she was trying to hold them back.But when she said bye,her tone confirmed that she was crying.the problem with both of us is that i confess that i will never be able to tolerate the orthodox atmosphere which will surround us if we marry.Even i know about her that she would also be facing the same things if we marry.At present,we haven't told this to anyone else(especially at our respective homes).She's very scared becos if her brother comes to know even about us that we are so close (even as frnds),she's indirecly told me that he may beat me to death.I've never thought about her ually & even cant think about her in that way,except i had thought of kissing her once but didnt becos i thought she may not approve of it.Before her,there was a girl in my life but that time i was in junior college & i didnt understand the difference between love & .I've had with my ex-girlfriend & this girl,my now crush,knows it all as i have told her everything.But she trusts me completely.Only once,the day when i had told her of my past,she doubted my intentions of befriending her.But i ured her & that day onward she trusts me blindly.Once i had to spend a night at her home becos her parents had gone out & she's really a very timid girl,so we slept in the same room,close to each other watching TV but never really wanted & never got physically intimate.I'm telling u all this becos i want 2 tel u that this grl,my current crush has all the qualities that i wanted in a wife.I also admit that v both dont hav d guts 2 run away & marry.Though i wouldn't be marrying so soon,in our community currently most boys get married a bit earlier,say at 24.I've got job offers & i'm good at academics,so its sure that i wil b employed & would b able 2 carry out my life happily with her,except for the problems i've mentioned before.Its become so difficult for me that i've once even tried 2 end my life,but the rat killer medicine wich i took was of lesser toxication & so i was left unconscious 4 few hrs but i survived.I've not told this 2 any1 else,even to the grl i luv.Pls hlp